Well it finally happened. My son woke up this morning and came into the bedroom and asked "Where do babies come from?" My husband and I just looked at each other. But I have been sort of expecting this as there have been little hints for the last several weeks that it was on his mind but he never came right out and asked. So I waited and planned...
My daughter asked this question around the age of 4 and I did what the experts said, answered the question but give no further information then what the question warranted. Then the experts advised wait for the child to ask the next question. But a weird thing happened my daughter never asked any more questions, not one, for the next 5 years! So I often wondered if I said too much to her, or said not enough, or worst yet listened to the wrong expert, basically beating myself up and second guessing myself. Yet another thing I didn't do correctly, so I thought.
So this time I took a different approach, listened to a different "expert" and found a book....
A few months ago while browsing a shelf of free books being given away I found this one and snap it up and took it home. I read it and then put it away for future use. **** FYI please read the reviews on Amazon before purchasing this book as it may not be the right book for you and your family.
So I called my daughter to join my son in the bedroom where we all cuddle together and got the book out of the dresser and began to read. Both children asked a few questions as I read and my husband and I answered them as matter-of-factually as we could. When the book was done we asked if there were any questions. My daughter said she knew most everything that was said and could she go read her own book now. My son had no further questions but took the book and re read it on his own. Later that evening my Husband and I got out the video "The Miracle of Life" and watched it with the children. I think most of the science stuff went right over their heads but the pictures of the different stages of the baby's development were intriguing for the children and they enjoy that part of the video. My husband and I thought it went well and are now waiting, waiting for the follow up questions from the children. So did we do it right this time? Who knows! So far no questions have been asked!
On a funny note the next day my son rushed into the bedroom and announced "I know everything about babies, now I want to know about Chocolate!"
I would love to know how your family addressed this issue, what books or resources do you use?
A friend of mine recommended this book to me a couple of weeks ago. Her parents gave it to her when she hit her teen years. She said of all the information they gave her it was the one she remembers the most, and it had the greatest *positive* impact on her.
ReplyDeleteWe have the O.W.L. *Our Whole Lives* http://www.uuabookstore.org/productdetails.cfm?PC=718 program to use with our boys. They have it for grades K-1, 4-6, 7-9, and 10-12. Each is more indepth than the previous grade sets program.
I don't want to even think about when that day comes. My son and I seem to be able to talk about everything, but that is one subject I am not ready for. I think you handled the situation pretty well. Thank goodness your husband was able to be there. Have a great day! I voted for you.
ReplyDeleteHi Anna-Marie,
ReplyDeleteYour son's chocolate comment is a hoot! :) This important topic is difficult to approach with our children, I believe, especially living in this sex crazed world where our children are constantly bombarded with secular explanations of the miracle of life. The miracle of life is a sacred gift and our fallen world makes it out to be anything but sacred and holy. I always question resources that deal with where babies come from since there is so much out there that can go against our family's values and morals. Not too long ago I sat down with my 5th grade daughter and read the book "The Joyful Mysteries of Life" by Catherine and Bernard Scherrer. I highly recommend it! It's a short book, 75 pages, and it was written by Catholic parents for their own young family. After each chapter there are discussion questions. Here are some links to the book: http://www.ignatius.com/Products/JML-P/the-joyful-mysteries-of-life.aspx
and here is a Catholic review of the book:
http://tiberriver.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/home.viewreview/review/1223
On the back cover of the book there is a summary and part of it states "In order to encourage attitudes of respect and reverence for the mysteries of procreation, the biological facts are presented in the context of a meditation on the joyful mysteries of the rosary. Chastity, both inside and outside of marriage, is shown to be the Christian way of living out God's will in regard to the procreative aspect of our nature."
So this book comes from a totally Catholic perspective and it may not be appreciated or understood by everyone, however I am grateful to have this resource for my children. I want them growing up knowing that procreation and babies are true gifts from God and it's difficult to find resources that explain the true beauty of this holy and sacred act of love. The Joyful Mysteries of Life is so far the only resource I have found that I can trust and feel comfortable reading to my child.
I am still getting a kick out of the chocolate comment from your son. They are so easily distracted on some things, but others you can't get them to move on. Children are so precious.
ReplyDeleteI hope you are having a wonderful week, and thanks for the offer of letting us stay with you if we ever make it over there. You are great! =)
I voted for you.
Thanks Holmes family I will be looking into that book. There are so many out there it is hard to know which one to use. Someone recommended this book to me and it was lucky to find it free at the library
ReplyDeleteHI Tracy,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you and will be looking into your book suggestions. We focus really on the science of making a baby this time around, we will discuss Love, relationships and family when he is a bit older. I really think it was the science part that he was interested in as neither child has asked any questions about family or love yet. Too young I think.
Hi Lynda
ReplyDeleteYes the chocolate question throw me for a second (more than the sex questions) but I found a DNG packet on Chocolate as well as a lapbook from hands of a child so we will be doing that soon, maybe for Easter:)
Out of the mouths of babes...as the saying goes!
Love your son's comment! I must admit, some days I find chocolate to be a pretty fascinating subject!
ReplyDeleteHI Renee Ann
ReplyDeleteYes his comment was funny and so like him:) My husband is taking next week off so we have planned to take him to a chocolate factory:) He should like that!
Wow, great post. Thanks for the blog award too.
ReplyDeleteWe always look at your blog and appreciate the recognition too.
We have two girls, 5 and 7 and we haven't had that question yet. Our philosophy is really take it as it comes and be as honest and open as possible. It certainly is a goal to be able to talk about anything and at any time. It is particularly important as kids gro up, this question is probably childsplay compared to some of the first base, second base questions that come up with teenagers and boy/girl friends these days. Kids notice if something is contrived and back away, I think, meet it in an open and helpful way.
There is nothing more natural than babies or chocolate.
Go babies and go chocolate,
Have a great weekend.
http://beourbest.blogspot.com/
Hi there, just playing catch up on my fav blogs...I love the approach you all took. I will keep it in mind for our "talk"...lol...Chocolate huh!
ReplyDeleteHi Jill,
ReplyDeleteYes when you put it that way this was an easy question:) I am still looking for the perfect book to explain relationships to children. But this seems to have satisfied him for now.
Hi Melissa,
ReplyDeleteHow sweet of you:) Thanks for the encouragement I always doubt myself as I want to be perfect:( something I am working on. I am looking forward to the chocolate lesson.